The stupidity of some people truly amazes me some days. Don’t get me wrong, I tend to think people are pretty stupid in general, but some days?  You’re ashamed to say you’re part of the human race.

If you booked a $20000 holiday to Africa, all lodge safaris and private guides and 5* service and all that (sounds nice doesn’t it? I wish I had that kind of money just floating around)…Why would you whinge and bitch about having to pay $70 for a bloody yellow fever vaccination?  And then start asking questions about whether you can bribe border officials in Kenya and Tanzania if you show up without the YF vacciation certificate?  And what the hell do you think is going to happen when you arrive back in Australia after the holiday and Australian customs demands to see your vaccination certificate (since they will ask to see it if you’ve been in Africa or South America within the previous 6 days)?  You gonna try and bribe Australian customs?  ROFL, good luck with that!

I mean seriously, the bloody vaccination lasts 10 years (I had mine years ago from previous travels to South America) and costs $70.  If you can afford to blow 20 grand on a 2 week holiday, I’d say that $70 is chump change.  Christ, people are stupid.

$70 or death?  Hmmm…Let me think!

So I’ve been in the process of booking my next big trip. This time I’m going to Africa! I’m heading over in June for the World Cup in South Africa, but I’ve got friends there, and the tickets to the games are being provided by a friend of mine, so that’s awesome! But aside from that, I’ve been making plans to head up East Africa way and do some travelling. Uganda, Kenya and Tanzania.

Unsurprisingly, I want to go to Uganda to see the mountain gorillas. And I want to go see the Masai Mara in Kenya and the Serengeti in Tanzania. Now I’ll admit to a bit of naivety to begin with, but I figured, hey, pretty much the entire continent is living in abject 3rd world poverty, it should be pretty cheap to travel there. I mean it was cheap to travel around Asia and most of South America, right? So I stupidly made the assumption that it’d be cheap to travel around Africa too. Wrong.

Here’s what I’ve run up against, bearing in mind that I’m looking atbudget options, as opposed to the luxury lodges.  Prices are in Australian dollars.

Uganda: 3 day gorilla trek ex-Kampala – $2350.  That includes no meals at all and staying in budget guest houses.  It does however include the US$500 for the gorilla trek permit, which grants you one day access to the national park, and 1 hours viewing time with the gorillas – assuming your guide actually finds them.  That equates to almost $800 a day.  For a 3rd world country.  With no guarantee of actually seeing the gorillas.

Kenya and Tanzania: 14 day safari, overland, camping – $2600.  Yup, that’s what it costs to camp.  The cost of doing it in lodges is roughly 5 times the price.  And this involves driving everywhere, long days, no flights.  That’s just under $200 a day.

Hot air ballooning: 1 hour hot air balloon ride in the Serengeti – US$500.  I almost choked when I saw that.  I know it’s one of those “optional” things, but still…When you consider what I paid to do the equivalent in Egypt was US$100, I struggle to justify paying 5 times that much.

Getting around: Flights South Africa-Uganda-Kenya-South Africa – $2100.  And that’s apparently cheap, flying Kenya Airways.

So that’s it, that’s what it’s costing before I even set foot on the ground.  And it’s ok, I can deal with it.  But when you’re looking at over $7.5k for 2.5 weeks – before you take into consideration having to buy food and spending money?  I struggle to call that a budget holiday.  And it was my own admitted ignorance of Africa that bit me in the ass.  I thought it would be cheap, I mean the place is in terrible shape, but I’ve learned my lesson.  I’d hate to think what it would cost me if I was staying in hotels or safari lodges.

Thankfully my flights from Australia to South Africa have been booked using frequent flyer miles and I have a place to crash in Johannesburg at a mates place.  Cos otherwise, I would have never been able to afford to go.  It’s worked our a few thousand more than I’d been initially planning on.

Basically I just wanted to post this up as a piece of advice.  There’s really no such thing as “budget” travel if you want to see the gorillas or go on safari in Africa.  If you avoid the gorilla trek and going on safari, then sure, you can keep the costs right down…But then, that totally defeats the purpose of going to Africa in the first place, doesn’t it?

When we were at the Central markets in Siem Reap last week, we ran into an Australian couple who were visiting for a week.  They told us a story about a colleague who was travelling with them who had an accident the night before.  They’d been at some function and cos it was raining, this woman slipped over.  When she slipped, she fell and grabbed hold of an oil lantern that had just been stuck into the ground for the event.  But when she grabbed it, she’s accidentally poured the oil from it all over herself and set herself alight with the torch.  She basically caught on fire.  So they had to medi-evacuate her from Siem Reap to Bangkok for emergency treatment and then get her back to Sydney for further treatment at the specialist burns unit at Royal North Shore.  But as we found out, the woman didn’t have travel insurance.  Now don’t get me wrong, I feel terrible about what happened to her, it’s tragic.  But she’s an idiot.  Just the medical evacuation to Bangkok from Siem Reap cost US$100k, let alone the emergency treatment in Bangkok and the additional repatriation to Australia.  And that’s going to have to get paid out of her own pocket.  She could have bought a week’s travel insurance with basic cover for AU$35.  Now she’s going to be in MASSIVE debt to cover her evacuation and medical expenses.  This ladies and gentlemen is precisely the reason you should take out travel insurance.  Let it be a lesson that shit can go wrong when you least expect it.

I don’t think I’m a cruel person, harsh maybe, but not cruel.  But I got into an arugment with someone I was travelling with in Cambodia over my refusal to buy stuff off kids who were selling their wares on the street or in the markets.  Let’s just say I’m an academic – can’t be arsed getting into the specifics of what I do.  I do not want to perpetuate the problem of kids ditching school in order to effectively beg tourists for money.  Yeah, I know that they make more money that way, but it’s not like the kids get that money for themselves.  It goes to their families or their “pimps” (for lack of a better term).  It’s not like these adults who send their kids out then use that money to send their kids to school.

The countries where I’ve seen this issue with kids selling stuff are all third world.  The majority of the population live in abject poverty.  Call me naïve, but I believe the best way to get out of poverty is through education.  Cambodia relies heavily on agriculture for income.  I get that they probably don’t need masses of people with arts degrees.  But getting people to go to school and learn about more modern agricultural methods or a class on economics could help improve their lot in life and in the wider global community.  School could focus on the relevant needs of the people they’re teaching.  No, they probably don’t need to know linear algebra or general relativity…But a course in land management or soil chemistry might be incredibly useful.  School can be practical.  But by forcing these kids into begging from the age of 3-4, they’re not doing their kids or the future of the country any favours.

So that’s my stance on it.  I won’t buy stuff off kids on the street no matter what sob story they come up with “I need the money for school”….Bullshit.  They’re back out there again the next day with the same sob story playing it up to some sucker tourist.  I won’t fall for it.  Most of these places have some degree of free education for kids.  So that really isn’t an excuse.  I won’t apologise for my point of view on this.  I think that education is vitally important for bringing these countries out of this poverty.  And sending kids out to beg rather than sending them to class only does more harm than good in the long run.

My Cambodian trip diary…

Day 1: Australia to Bangkok

Had a reasonably good flight to Bangkok.  Flight was more or less full though.  And sadly not full of nice, polite Thai people.  But full of drunken, loudmouthed Aussie bogans.  Aside from their idiocy “oh, but I’m Australian, why do I have to fill out an Australian departure card?” and “what do you mean you won’t serve people alcohol on the flight who appear intoxicated?”.  First time flyers, ok, I can understand their ignorance on some level.  But the drunken bogans who start getting verbally abusive with the cabin staff because their fall-down drunk before even getting on the plane and then get a “refusal of service” comment?  Not acceptable.  You get denied service for being shit faced drunk in a bar in Australia, why exactly do people think separate rules should apply just because you’re in a plane or in a foreign country?  Anyway, aside from idiots providing me with amusement, the flight was pretty much boring.  Arriving in Bangkok, I was through immigration in about 2 minutes.  Gave them my passport and arrival card (which you fill in on the plane) and that was that.  My bag was then first off the conveyor belt!  Sheer awesomeness!  Since I landed in Bangkok pretty late, and don’t fly out to Cambodia until early tomorrow morning, a 8 hour layover, I decided to book myself into a cheap hotel near the airport for the night so I could grab a shower and maybe a few hours sleep.  I booked a room at the Silver Gold Garden Hotel for 900 Baht a night which included a return airport transfer, so like AU$34 I think.  The transfer from the airport went really quickly and easily, the guy was easy to find, and the drive took just over 5 minutes from the airport.  The hotel is pretty basic, but it’s got hot water, a regular flushing toilet and a bed.  And to be honest, right now, that’s all I care about. Going to try and catch a few zzz’s before I have to get up at 4.30am to go back to the airport at 5.

Day 2:  Bangkok to Phnom Penh

Early wake up call today to go to the airport to catch my flight to Phnom Penh, didn’t really sleep last night, so I’m pretty wiped.  All went quickly and easily though.  Went to check in, only to find out the dumbfuck travel agent in Australia who said “yeah, all your airport taxes are included in the price of your ticket”, is in fact full of shit.  She’d forgotten to include the 700 Baht departure tax from Bangkok to Phnom Penh, she only included the departure tax for when I fly back to Australia next week.  So that was an unpleasant surprise.  Had to go and pay that and then go deal with customs – which went slowly, long lines, but was easy enough.  Inside the place is full of shops.  Pretty things like Chanel and Dior and Burberry and…Yeah, I could go on.  I’m going to wait till I fly home to buy my airport goodies.  And there will be goodies.  Bit of a walk to the gate, but that’s fine.  Flight left on time and was only about half full, so I got 3 seats to myself.  But for a 50 minute flight, who cares?  You want 3 seats to yourself on the flight over from Australia.  Got the “visa on arrival” at Phnom Penh airport for US$20.  Just be aware that you need a spare passport photo to attach to the application, so don’t forget to bring one!  The guy at the immigration desk gave me a really weird look and made me have my photo taken again by their camera setup thingy.  No clue why, he didn’t ask me anything.  Maybe I’ve still got that CIA thing on my passport?  He let me go though, so who knows.  My bag again came out really quick, so I got out fast.  I’d arranged for my hotel I’m staying at in PP to pick me up at the airport to save the hassle of bargaining for a taxi.  They were there, so all was good (unlike the no show transfer in Peru).  The drive to the hotel was amusing.  The traffic is like in Mongolia – chaos – except instead of chaos in Landcruisers, it’s chaos on moto-scooters!  As an aside, I get that not all adults want to wear motorbike helmets, that’s their prerogative, they’re making an informed choice not to.  But kids?  I saw so many small kids riding pillion on motorbikes with no helmet on.  I have a problem with that.  Anyway, got to the hotel, it’s simple but clean.  They supposedly have wi-fi, but I’ve tried connecting to it, and despite having a good signal strength, it don’t work (I have my netbook so I can keep on top of work emails  I’m missing while gallivanting about another country for a week).  There’s free internet in the lobby, but I can’t upload attachments and stuff on that.  Doesn’t really matter, I’ll find a decent internet café or wi-fi signal at some point, I’m sure of it.

Had a nap for a couple of hours and then went out for dinner.  Caught a tuk-tuk down near the river front for $1 and ate at some local kind of hole in the wall type place.  There was a good mix of westerners and locals there, so it seemed like a good bet.  I got spring rolls and Amok curry (with chicken) and a couple of cans of coke and the whole thing came to like $6.50!  The curry was much like a Thai green chicken curry, but was really awesome.  And cheap!  Then took the scenic route back to the hotel, by which time it was pissing down rain, so didn’t see much from the tuk-tuk.  Now I’m just going to crash.

Ok, serious question.  Why do people not take pens with them on the plane?  You know you’re going to have to fill in paperwork before arrival.  I had like half a dozen people, most of whom looked fairly well travelled, ask me if they could borrow my pen on the plane.  Not a big issue, just food for thought.

Day 3: Phnom Penh wanderings

After breakfast I went and visited the Royal Palace getting there by “cyclo”.  Got a bit of the backstory on the royal family, which was interesting, but the buildings themselves were a bit…Boring – much as I hate to admit it.  Went and had lunch at some restaurant that is run by an NGO to help raise money for local kids.  Good food and all (I had spicy crab meat fried rice…mmm), but the “kids” who the place is meant to be helping caused a riot.  They come in and try to sell their wares, in this case, books.  Some guy bought a book off one kid and not off another.  The kid he didn’t buy the book off had a major hissy fit and beat the crap out of the other kid.  The adults didn’t want to intervene, apparently violence is a common way of dealing with “stealing” someone else’s customer.  It broke up eventually though.

Then went out to the “killing fields” at Choeung Ek Genocidal Centre on the outskirts of the city – which was a very sobering experience.  Sort of reminded me of the shit that goes on in the world – even now.  And also my family has a tradition of military service, not all of whom survived it, so it brought back thoughts of their sacrifice as well.  Got the backstory on Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge and the atrocities they perpetrated upon their own people.  Nasty.  Then went and visited the S-21 prison where they kept their prisoners.  Again, not pleasant, but interesting nonetheless.  Then went and visited the Russian market for a bit.  Bought a couple of pairs of shoes (Puma and Birkenstock), a shirt, a new hat (cos I left mine on my bed at home) and a Diesel bag.  Think all up I spent $30 or so.  You can bargain, but not as much as you can in Egypt for example.  Here you’re doing well to get 20-30% off.  It was a long day, despite my lack of detail, and right now I’ve got a headache.  A pretty bad one at that.  Started  to get the headache when I was at the killing fields, it reeks there – really badly.  Like rotting garbage.  Makes you want to puke.  What went on there makes you want to puke anyway, but this was just something else entirely.  So I suppose I’m just saying that if you do happen to visit, be prepared for the smell.  Anyway, I’m just going to head down to the hotel café, grab a snack (spring rolls or something easy) and come back, take a few panadol and go to sleep.  I’d like to go out, but my head just hurts way too much right now.

Day 4: Phnom Penh to Siem Reap (and Angkor Wat!!!)

Long drive today from PP to Siem Reap on the bus.  Well not really long, 5 hours, but with all the stopping it seemed worse.  Left at 7.30am and hit the road.  First stop 90 minutes later was at some side of the road market thingy.  Kids selling fruit and random crap.  I have a rant about that later since I actually got into an argument with someone over it, it’ll go in another post.  But anyway, this side of the road place had spiders and snakes and all the weird and wacky stuff like that.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a nature lover, but I am absolutely petrified of spiders and I’m only slightly more tolerant of snakes.  So when these kids start coming at you with spiders and trying to throw them at you so they land on your shit and you can take “oh so funny” photos, well, I don’t find it “oh so funny” at all.  I damn near have a full on panic attack when spiders are around.  They think it’s funny to see some silly westerner scared of a spider.  I don’t.  But I digress, we then kept going on down (or is it up?) the road to this silk farm.  It’s a little community silk weaving farm rather than some mass production thing.  Was cool, but didn’t buy anything.  They only make scarves there, and I already bought silk scarves (which still haven’t been worn…) from Beijing last year.  And off again, next stop, Siem Reap!

Stopped at some restaurant on the outskirts of town for lunch around 1.30pm.  Ordered the Amok curry with chicken since I liked it the other day in PP.   Only I really didn’t like this one.  At all.  It was dry and almost tasteless.  So yeah, a bit disappointed about that.  Then got dropped off at the hotel (Soria Moria).  It’s nice enough.  Beds are a bit hard, but such is life.  Had a bit of time to waste before going to Angkor Wat for sunset, so had a short nap.  Then off again to Angkor Wat.  Bought a 1 day ticket for $20 (still not sure if I’m going on Sunday yet, so the 3 day ticket would be a waste right now), got the photo taken for it (cos you can’t transfer tickets) and went up the top of the hill at Phnom Bakheng temple to watch the sunset.  It was really cloudy and stuff though, so there wasn’t really a “sunset” to speak of.  It just kept getting progressively darker.  So I gave up and walked back down the hill to get accosted by the kids selling stuff again.  There was a much older kid selling books who I agreed to buy off.  He would have been 17 or so, so I didn’t have such a problem.  Bought a copy of Freeman’s Ancient Angkor and a smaller photo book which I can send to my parents (which I don’t know that they’ll really appreciate since they’ve both actually been to Angkor Wat some 30 odd years ago) for $10.

Then headed back into town to Pub Street for dinner.  Cos of my dislike for the curry I had at lunch, I decided to play it safe for dinner.  Ordered spring rolls and a Caesar salad.  And a mojito.  Was good.  I’ll probably go back to the curry tomorrow since I saw other people’s curry and they did look good.  After that headed to the night markets for a bit.  I really want a painting and a stone statue to take home.  But all the paintings I saw in the markets are screen print replicas.  Nothing original.  So I’m leaving my art hunting till Sunday when I’ve got some free time to wander more.  Did buy a Angkor beer singlet ($3) and a couple of silk cushion covers though ($2 each).  Pretty cheap I guess.  Then headed back to the hotel and had a couple of drinks at the bar.  Then went to bed, since I’m planning to go to Angkor Wat for sunrise in the morning.  Means leaving at 4.45am.  Fun, but should be worth it!

Day 5: Angkor Wat!!!

So got up at 4.30 to leave at 4.45 for sunrise.  Got a tuk-tuk which cost $4 (return trip – the guy waits for you while you go inside).  Paid some woman $1 and you get a cup of hot tea and a chair to sit on right by the front of the pond in front of the temple towers.  Was amazing!  Really amazing!  Got some awesome photos despite the really low light.  There wasn’t much “sun” to speak of, but with the clouds and the sun sort of kind of peeking through them, it made for great atmosphere.  Not really colourful as such, but definitely dramatic.  I think I’m going to hire a tuk-tuk again tomorrow and go back for sunrise again.  Get it from another perspective or something.  Means forking out another $20 for a site ticket, but I think it’s worth it.  Then had a quick wander around inside Angkor Wat before getting the tuk-tuk back to the hotel and having breakfast (and where I’m currently uploading my piccies to my netbook!).

After breakfast, went back to the Angkor complex.  First off went to Angkor Thom to check out the Victory Gate.  Smiley faces!  So awesome.  Then went inside and checked out the Bayon temple.  This is the one with all the faces carved into the stonework.  It is so amazing and just…Yeah, words really can’t describe it.  You just have to see it for yourself.  I think I’ve got some genuinely spectacular photos from this temple.  Stayed around for about 90 minutes before heading on to look at the Terrace of the Elephants (also within Angkor Thom).  Kind of cool, though not as awesome as Bayon (which became the absolute highlight of my trip).  There were people inside the temple selling stuff, and one guy who was a landmine victim was selling some of his own artwork, I saw him painting, so I knew it was original and not the mass produced crap they’re flogging off everywhere else.  I bought a small watercolour off him for $10 which will be nice to hang on the wall once it’s framed.  Also bought a “temple rubbing” for $1 which I know isn’t a genuine temple rubbing, but will make for a nice present for someone at home.  I’m actually kind of thankful I don’t need to buy anything for my parents, cos they went to Angkor Wat some 30 odd years ago (before I was born – and before all the tourists took over!) and they don’t want anything.  And my brother is too much of a dick that if I bought him anything, he’d throw it out cos it didn’t fit with his “interior design aesthetic” (he really is like that).  After that we headed off to what I’ve dubbed the “Lara Croft” temple – more accurately known as Ta Prohm.  Was interesting to see where that part of the movie was made, but more so to see one of the temples with all the jungle still growing all over the place.  Made it look really foreboding or something.  Loved it.  Then headed over to Angkor Wat and had lunch at one of the café places.  Food was mediocre, and about twice the price of food in Siem Reap town.  But you’re paying for the convenience of not having to drive back to town to eat.  The kids selling stuff here are a whole other world of crazy.  More on that later.  So after lunch, I headed back to Angkor Wat to see what it looked like in the light of day (to compare to how it looked at 5.30am this morning).  Massively crowded, but that’s to be expected I guess.  More on that later too.  Preferred it this morning to be honest, but was still nice to have a bit more of a wander around.  It started to rain then, so I headed back out and ducked for cover near one of the café’s until it was time to head back to town.  A long day of temple climbing, but one of the most amazing places I’ve ever been – let’s ignore the fact that I say that about most places I visit

Now my issue with the kids at Angkor Wat…They don’t let up.  At all.  My guide says that the Cambodian government (or their local counterpart in Siem Reap) is trying to stamp out the practice of kids harassing the tourists.  It’s full on, and really quite aggressive.  The kids will beat the crap out of each other over a sale.  It is a massively unpleasant experience.  The adults in the market stalls will try and convince you to buy their wares, but they won’t yell at you or chase you down or bang on the side of your car/minibus in order to convince you.  They won’t push you or grab at you.  The kids do.  Apparently word of mouth has been causing many people who visit Angkor Wat not to return, due to this specific problem.  And I can really see why.  I don’t mind stall holders with their “excuse me miss, would you like to buy a t-shirt/statue/whatever”, I mean yeah it’s annoying, but not enough to send me into fits of anger.  The kids on the other hand, will grab you, scratch at you, try to drag you away from their competition physically, they’ll yell abuse, throw stones at your car and basically don’t comprehend the meaning of the word “no”.  It’s vile.  I would like to return some day, but I would seriously contemplate putting it off until the government has put some kind of regulations in place to deal with the kids selling their crap.

The other thing that had me concerned – massive overcrowding.  It’s a problem in many parts of the world, but when you’ve got monuments like this, it becomes more of a problem.  I saw it in Peru at Machu Picchu where uncontrolled tourist numbers are slowly but surely degrading the place.  Too many people walking over the ground and stonework wears away the carvings and the stone itself.  It’s more pronounced in Peru because Machu Picchu has been open to the public for ages.  But in Angkor Wat, you can totally see it becoming a problem even now, despite tourists really only coming in larger numbers in the past decade since the Khmer Rouge got booted.  I saw people (mainly the Chinese and Japanese for some reason) blatantly ignoring the multilingual signs around the place saying not to touch the carvings in the stone (which is supposed to help prevent some of the wear and tear).  But people did it anyway.  There needs to be much stricter regulation of people numbers into the place, or there needs to be a far greater security presence there to warn visitors of the rules and to discipline them for breaking them.  This is of course just my personal opinion.  But I think by restricting tourist numbers (not only at Angkor Wat but also at Machu Picchu), by having a limited number of daily entry tickets, then maybe they could get the degradation of the temples under better control.  Again, just my opinion, feel free to disagree with me.

Had a pretty quiet night since I’ve been up since about 4am and was totally knackered from being out in the sun all day.  Stayed in at the hotel and went to the hotel bar for a few drinks and dinner.  Half price drinks and food till 8pm was a pretty sweet deal!  Had a pretty early night and was in bed by 11.  Still not sure of the plan for tomorrow, but a sleep in will be nice.

Day 6: Wandering around Siem Reap

Ugh.  Got woken up at 4am by my drunk roommate coming back.  Bloody annoying.  Got out of bed around 8.30 and went and had breakfast.  Ran into a few other people and decided to head out with them to the markets.  Got a tuk-tuk over to the “Central Markets” for a look around.  Had a look around and ended up buying a pair of “fisherman” pants and set of 6 pairs of wooden chopsticks which have little elephants inlaid in the wood (dunno if I’ll get them past quarantine, but they only cost $2, so if I don’t it’s not a big loss).  Then went to the “old markets” which is just down the road.  Ended up buying a silver anklet with little turtles on it.  Very cute.  Dunno if it’s real silver or not, looks like it and feels heavy enough though, but for $10 I don’t care much.  I had to talk the others out of buying gemstones.  I know how to tell the difference between reals and fakes.  It’s not a simple task, though I know enough given my background.  But the ones these guys were interested in were fakes.  After that we went and had a drink at a bar and then wandered off to a small mall where one of them wanted to visit a particular store.  We then wandered off to check out an art gallery the Angkor Wat guide recommended since I wanted to buy a painting.  All the ones in the markets I’ve seen so far are mass produced screen prints.  Not originals.  But the ones in the 2 galleries we went to weren’t what I wanted.  They seemed more like photography studio places rather than art galleries.  I love photography, don’t get me wrong, but it wasn’t what I wanted to buy.  Maybe I’ll find something else before I leave.  After that we headed back to the hotel and had lunch.  Hopped in the jacuzzi for a bit and then had a nap.

Went out to dinner to say goodbye to people since I’m leaving tomorrow to go to Bangkok.  Hilarity ensued when the tuk-tuk we went to get into tipped over on its side as we were getting in.  Was funny, only not funny at the same time.  Someone could have been seriously injured.  Found another one though and got away.  The guy who was in the tuk-tuk when it went over though made some nasty (and serious) comment about suing for compensation.  He wasn’t injured, his ego just got bruised.  And to say you’re going to sue for your tuk-tuk tipping over when there’s guys walking around with limbs blown off and other handicaps, well, I think this guy just needs to wake the hell up.  Ended up going for dinner at Temple Bar in Pub Street to see their dance show.  Food was alright, but the dance thing was a bit boring, so left after dinner was done (about half way through the show).  By this time it had started pissing down rain – not just a small shower, it was full on pouring.  So we kind of ran down to the night markets to finish off our shopping lists.  Only because of the weather, half the stalls were shut.  Including the one we really wanted to visit – which was a professional photographer who had their photos for sale matted and ready for framing.  Bit of a disappointment, but such is life.  I managed to pick up a painting I liked for home as well as a smaller painting which I can put in my office or something – got them for total $20.  Also found a nice drawing for $12.  Then got a tuk-tuk back to the hotel and went for a drink in the hotel bar.  At least it’s dry there!  Now I just need to pack all this stuff I bought and hit the sack.  Gotta be up at 6.30am to get the bus back across the border to Bangkok.  Don’t really want to leave, as this place is so amazing.  At least I can console myself with the fact that it’s not that far away from Australia, and flights are cheap.  So I’m determined that I’ll be back at some point when I’ve got more time to see more of the temples around Siem Reap.

Day 7: From Siem Reap to Bangkok

Early start to catch the bus from Siem Reap to the Cambodia/Thai border at Poipet.  About 3 hours (or just over).  Was all fairly painless.  Get to Poipet and go to the Cambodia border control and get your passport stamped.  Walk 200m down the road through the fences to Thai border control, fill in a Thai immigration form, pass through immigration, and you’re in Thailand.  We didn’t get any of the funny buggers that you hear of at that particular border crossing with officials asking for bribes and whatnot.  It was all really straight forward and didn’t have any incident to speak of.  You carry your own luggage across the border.  Then a 4 and a bit hour drive from the Thai side of the border (the town whose name I forgot, it begins with A at any rate) to downtown Bangkok.  Arrived around 2pm and checked into the Residence Hotel.  It’s pretty basic, but it’s alright for a night or two.  Went out for dinner at some small Thai café.  Got roast duck and egg noodles.  Not had duck for ages, so it was good.  Someone tried to convince me to go to a lady-boy show.  Really not my thing.  So went back to the hotel and pretty much crashed.  Didn’t do much today, it was just really long with all the travel.

Day 8: Floating markets and shopping!!!

So up early again today to leave for the floating markets at 6.30am (it’s like a seat in a minibus organised tour type thingy).  They’re about an hour drive southwest of Bangkok city.  It was something different to do since I’ve already seen the Grand Palace and stuff on a previous trip to Thailand.  Got a canal boat and went wandering around the markets for a few hours, buying some fresh food and then heading back to Bangkok.  On the way back we stopped at a wood carving place.  Was actually some really nice stuff there.  In particular there was an 8 seat dining table and chairs setting carved with a really nice Thai design.  I would have bought it if it wasn’t for the US$47000 price tag   Got back to Bangkok and got dropped off at the MBK mall in town.  Did some shopping, obviously!  Bought some “Ralph Lauren” work shirts and a “Dolce & Gabbana” handbag.  The shirts are made from decent quality linen and the bag is real leather, so even though they’re fakes, they’re still good quality stuff.  Then had lunch.  Ugh.  Painful.  I had the good idea of having lunch at a Thai noodle place inside MBK – all well and good.  It was a buffet – all well and good.  I get the spicy sauce to go with my noodles since I like spicy food and all – all well and good.  Here’s the rub…Everywhere I’ve been so far, even in Bangkok, when I’ve ordered spicy food, I’ve had to add extra chilli or chilli powder to it because it’s not usually spicy enough for my liking.  So I do that again automatically – just assuming that it wouldn’t be spicy enough.  Big mistake.  I added some extra chilli AND chilli powder to it.  Jesus fucking Christ it was hot!  I mean it was basically inedible.  I would have struggled to eat it without the extra chilli.  My eyes were watering, my nose was running.  It was just all around pain.  My stomach still feels like it’s got 3^rd degree burns 6 hours later!  I only managed to down half the plate before giving up and getting a mild one.  I’m sure the restaurant staff had a good laugh at the stupid westerner!  Got a taxi back to the hotel after all that, which was a bit of a ripoff, but I couldn’t be arsed arguing with tuk-tuk drivers who wanted to take me to a shop first.

Then went out for dinner at another small local café and had the soft shell crab.  Added some hot sauce and all was right with the world again.  So good!  Then went to Swensens for ice cream.  Chocolate brownie and peanut butter icecream.  Topped the night off!  Now I just have to pack.  Gotta be up at 6am to get ready to leave for Kanchanaburi at 7am.  And cos I won’t be back till 6-7pm, and I have to leave for the airport at 8pm, it means checking out in the morning and having everything ready to go by the time I get back from up north.  Joy oh joy.

Day 9: Kanchanaburi and home…

Another early start…So much for relaxing on holidays!  Got woken up at 5am by the hotel staff who wanted to give me a message from my guide who was picking me up at 7am.  Turns out they wanted to pick me up at 6.45am instead.  So wakeup was earlier than anticipated.  I’d also assumed when I contacted this driver guy that was recommended to me for this trip up to Kanchanaburi, that it’d be a private tour.  Turns out the advice given to me was off the mark.  I ended up in a minibus with 8 other people – which in the end was fine, cos they were all Aussies or Kiwis.  But still not what I thought I was paying for.  Lesson learned I suppose.

A 2.5 hour drive up north to start the day off.  First off we went to Kanchanaburi cemetery and museum which was all about the soldiers who died during the building of the bride over the River Kwai.  We kept hearing the theme song from the movie all around the town.  I’ve not seen that movie for ages, might watch it when I get home.  From there it was a short drive to the bridge itself.  Got to walk around for a bit and we saw a train going over it.  Was cool, but sad at the same time since I had family involved in WW2.  Then we headed up to near the tiger temple for lunch.  The place we were taken to for lunch was mediocre in the extreme.  Had some plain rice and chicken satay.  Not particularly good either.  We were then given the option of having an elephant ride, which thankfully everyone on the bus declined.  I’ve done it before in Chang Mai and the others had done it (or were going to do it) in Phuket.  So then we just headed straight up to the tiger temple.  Wasn’t as busy as I expected there, but was still a fair few people.  You have to hand over your camera to a volunteer who will take the photos of you so that you’re keeping your focus on the tiger’s behaviour rather than your camera.  There’s also rules about no red/yellow/orange/pink shirts as it apparently can set the tigers off.  First thing you do is take you on a “tiger walk” where the monks walk the tigers and you can walk along with them for a bit while the volunteer takes your photos.  Then you go down into the grotto.  There’s like 10 tigers there and you get to sit with them and pat them for a couple of seconds while you get photos taken (on your own camera).  They let you pat each of them.  For an extra 1000 Baht you can choose to have the tigers head put on your lap for a minute and have photos taken of that.  Not worth it in my opinion.  The photos of me patting the tigers are enough.  Then you can wander back up the hill and take photos of the baby tiger cubs – soooooo cute!!!  For a donation (you choose the amount – I gave 100 Baht) you can have your photo taken with a cub in front of their play pool.  They’re so gorgeous!  I want to take one home!  There’s a few other animals wandering around the temple just randomly.  Cows, goats, antelope…After that I visited their (really) tiny gift shop and bought a stuffed tiger toy.  Wasn’t cheap, but at least the money is going to a good cause.  Then back in the bus to head back on the 2.5 hour drive to Bangkok.  In reality it took closer to 4 to get back to my hotel because we hit traffic when we got downtown.

It was a really awesome day.  Just long.  There’s a lot of comments floating around the internet about whether the tiger temple is dodgy or not (eg. Are they involved in illegal animal trade?  Or are they treating the animals right?).  I have no idea about the animal trade issue.  If they are, it’s certainly not obvious.  As for treating the animals right, they looked well fed to me.  I’m sure PETA and Greenpeace and whoever else are always going to have a whinge about animals kept in captivity.  Maybe they could be given more freedom to roam about the temple on their own – but then that endangers the monks and the volunteers who live there.  Where do you draw the line?  I don’t have an answer to that.  I won’t go back, I didn’t like seeing the tigers chained up (even though I know it’s for safety reasons).  That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t recommend that other people go.  It’s worth it just for a look.  But to be honest, I’d rather see tigers in a zoo where they’re in a large enclosure and somewhat free to roam.  Not being chained down like they were at the temple.  But that’s just my opinion.  I’m sure others will disagree.

Back at the hotel I grabbed some dinner and waited for my airport transfer.  He showed up half an hour early, so we left for the airport early.  Traffic was actually pretty good heading out of town once you got on the motorways.  Kind of funny really, in Sydney the motorways get gridlocked without fail every day during peak hour.  In Bangkok, which has 11ty billion cars, the motorways actually have free-flowing traffic!  It’s like amazing!  Hit Swampy and got through immigration quickly (for a change).  Then wandered about duty free for a while.  Was going to buy a bottle of JD, but it’s AU$40 a bottle!  Duty free!  I can buy a bottle at the fkn bottle shop at retail price cheaper than that in Australia!  WTF!?!?!  I’m leaving my alcohol purchase until I hit duty free at the airport in Oz.  Anyhow, it’s time to get on the plane now.

It’s been an awesome trip!!!

Just a short rant about flight prices.

I have to head off for another meeting, and lucky me gets to do my own flight bookings for a change (our preferred travel agent didn’t have time to do it within my required timeframe).  And OK, it’s been a while since I’ve had to fly domestic as all my travel for about the last year has been international.  But have things really changed that much?

There’s half a dozen flights  a day that go where I need to go.  All well and good.  They all fly the exact same route.  Yet depending on what time of day you fly, there’s a price differential of about $400!  All on the same day!  I mean hell, I understand high season and low season and all, but when did they introduce high time and low time?  I could understand different prices if one flight had to transit via a different city or if one was mid-week and one was on the weekend…But no.

It blows.  Now I’m stuck catching craptastic flights.  Why can’t flights taking the same route, on the same day, on the same airline all cost the same?

In today’s Adelaide Now here.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think much of Alexander Downer’s politics, but this is without question one of the best “tell it like it is” articles I’ve read about travelling.  And I applaud him for it.

So without further ado…

By ALEXANDER DOWNER
May 24, 2009

I DON’T know about you, but it’s always nice to get emails. Once upon a time you’d look with pleasure at a handful of letters which dropped through the letter box. Now all you get are those threatening looking envelopes with windows. Or if you’re Tom Koutsantonis, those nasty missives which tell you about passing unknowingly through a speed camera.

But this is a generalisation. At the height of the Schapelle Corby affair I received 5000 emails in one day from fellow Australians pleading with me to save “our Schapelle” from the horrors of the Indonesian legal system. Or, to be a bit more honest, the few I looked at said that.

I’m sure my successor as foreign minister, Stephen Smith, had his in box bursting last week as people demanded he save the beer mat mum, Annice Smoel, from the ravages of the Thai police.

I felt for him especially when the media started demanding he “do something” to save her.

After about 10 minutes as foreign minister I was a little surprised to learn I was “responsible” for miscreant Australians who got into trouble in foreign countries.

No, no, no, don’t get it wrong – drug traffickers, drunks, kleptomaniacs and fraudsters weren’t responsible for their own stupidity – I was.

It’s about time that great nanny in Canberra, the Federal Government, turned around and told people they are responsible for their own decisions.

I was in Lebanon the other day and went down to the southern cities of Sidon and Tyre. They’re fascinating places – old Crusader castles, bustling souks, colourful little food stalls with generous owners offering you a taste of their wares.

But I couldn’t help remembering the awful events in those same places three years ago when Israel went to war with Hezbollah.

There were said to be 20,000 Australians in Lebanon at that time and a hefty percentage of them were demanding the Australian Government save them and fast.

Lebanese support groups hit the airwaves screaming that the Government was too slow getting those Australians who wanted to be evacuated to safety. But hang on, Australia’s about 15,000km from Lebanon and we don’t dock ships in the eastern Mediterranean ready to ferry Australians to safety.

And there was something else. We’d issued a travel advisory months earlier warning Australians of the dangers of southern Lebanon and the risks of going there.

It didn’t matter – apparently we had to get them out.

We were lucky. The Australian ambassador, a petite, charming professional called Lyndall Sachs, worked day and night chartering ferries and providing comfort to the evacuees, who hadn’t cared about the travel advisories, and whisked them to safety.

It was one of the great achievements of an Australian diplomat. Almost single handedly, she managed to get around 5000 Australians to Cyprus and Turkey.

We then chartered planes to take them back to Australia. I hope they built shrines to her. Some did, at least metaphorically.

But some just whinged. They felt seasick on the ferry and that was our fault. Could they get frequent flyer points for the free flight back to Australia? And all this cost around $30 million dollars – your dollars.

I’ll tell you this – I didn’t get 5000 emails of thanks but I got plenty of abuse because we weren’t fast enough, the ferries didn’t go from their port of choice and we were slow because we were racist, and so on. I mean, we’d warned them and told them not to go to the south of Lebanon. They went all the same. And when the proverbial hit the fan it was, you guessed it, “our fault”.

Then there was Hurricane Katrina, which flooded much of New Orleans. A mother of an Australian who arrived in New Orleans the day the hurricane hit came to see me in Stirling and demanded I get her son out. Americans couldn’t get out but I had to get her son out. I asked if he’d heard the warnings from the U.S. Government that week to avoid New Orleans.

She started shouting. He doesn’t follow the news, he doesn’t watch TV or read the newspapers. I see, I said. It was my fault he was in New Orleans, was it? What were we to do? Fly helicopters from Australia to America and pick up Australians and leave the Americans behind?

I didn’t have the guts to say this as foreign minister but don’t you think you should take responsibility for yourself when you go overseas?

If you’re too dumb or idle to read the travel advisories and too mean to take out travel insurance when you go overseas then you ought to take responsibility for your own behaviour.

Sure, if there’s a catastrophe like the Bali bombings or you’re trapped in a corruption scam the government should try to help. But not if you’re too lazy and silly to help yourself.

Remember two things when you travel. First, there are no special laws for Australians overseas. Foreigners make the laws over there, not us. And secondly, foreigners do things differently and they’re entitled to.

If you go to a Muslim country and get wildly drunk and women start dressing down (if you know what I mean) it can be bloody offensive to the locals. You’ll soon be in trouble.

And learn to take responsibility for your own behaviour. Stealing is wrong, even stealing beer mats. I know, I know, the beer mat mum had a few drinks but, no, she wasn’t drunk and she was charmingly polite to the local police.

But she was in a foreign country with a different culture and all of us ought to respect that.

I want to have a whinge, just because this is the internet, and really, who’s going to stop me?

I get that my passport is full of weird visas and stamps from weird countries.  I do visit normal countries, mainly those in Europe, but because I have an EU passport, those aren’t stamped in my Australian passport.  So it looks like I only go to weird places.  Which in hindsight is probably the reason I seem to have a CIA watch on my Australian passport (as I found out when going through immigration at Lima airport).

But seriously, look at the entry card you have to fill in when you come into Australia.  It asks what you do for a living…Read it!  See what I do for work?  Does it make sense now that I should travel to weird places?

Fark.  Is it really necessary to make me unpack every single thing from every single bag and unwrap every single souvenir I bought every single time I return from overseas?  And then swab everything for drugs?

I was standing around the quarantine benches at the airport for well over an hour getting a full narcotics search done on my bags when I returned from this most recent trip.  I was tired, and wanted to go home, and the constant questions about “you were travelling alone?  really?  in South America?  are you sure you were travelling alone?” and “so tell us about all the places you went.  how long were you there for?  you said you were travelling alone, are you sure?“.

I am not a bloody drug smuggler!

I just happen to work in weird places.  Bloody immigration even rang my boss once to confirm that I worked where I said I worked!

Must you people do this to me every single time?  It’s annoying

Just a note: Ecuador uses USD as currency, so all dollar amounts are in American dollars.

Day 18 – Travel day to Quito
Didn’t wake up till 8am today, cut it a bit close with meeting the 9.20am transfer to the airport!  Missed breakfast which was annoying.  Ended up buying pizza from Papa John’s at the airport (but I admit it was good).  Exit tax from Peru was US$31.  There’s a bunch of decent shops after passport control.  I bought a nice set of salt and pepper shakers (US$13) and a shaman statue (ceramic, US$30).  I never found vases I liked, so maybe I’ll have more luck with that in Ecuador.  The flight to Quito was ok.  Only just over 2 hours.  But pissed about the baggage handlers at Quito airport though.  They just chucked all our bags on the ground haphazardly.  Luck I had nothing breakable in there.  But at least I know for when I come back from the Galapagos.  The tour rep met me at the airport for the hotel transfer.  He was funny.  Gave me a quick rundown on the Galapagos boat trip and Quito.  Got to the hotel and am sharing a room with one of the girls from the Peru tour!  Small world!  Went out and bought an underwater disposable camera ($12) for tomorrow and some drinks so I stay hydrated for the rest of the day.  It’s CHEAP!  I paid less than $1.50 for a bottle of water AND a bottle of Gatorade!  Had a meeting with the tour company rep at 5.30.  Everyone on our boat is from Australia and it’s all a young bunch.  Blah, just hope they aren’t ALL pissheads!  Funny though, one guy said “I know you!” and I was confused.  Turns out he’s the guy at the travel agent who booked my Beijing trip late last year!  It’s a very very small world!  Anyway, going for pizza.  Early flight, 7.30am transfer to airport.

Day 19 – Galapagos!!!
So we ended up going for authentic Mexican last night instead of pizza (under $8 for a huge main – and it was good!).  Woke at about 6.30am to finish packing and got the transfer at 7.30 for our 9.40am flight.  The flight was with TAME and was boring as we had a stopover in Guayaquil on the way.  So we arrived at around 11.30am (1 hour time difference from the mainland).  The boat (MV Darwin) is nice.  The cabins are bit small, but that’s to be expected I guess.  First thing we did was eat lunch.  Very good chef!  Then we chugged off to Santa Cruz Island (Las Bachas) for a short island walk.  Lucky me, my DSLR decided to crap itself.  Brilliant timing.  For some reason all the shots have a dark spot right in dead centre.  There’s nothing in the lens or the body and it doesn’t show up when I frame the shot.  Only after I take the shot and look at it in preview.  No idea.  Anyway, saw sea lions, flamingos, a stingray (I named him Steve Irwin), lots of crabs (I named them all Dinner).  Then went for a snorkel (hired fins/mask/snorkel from the boat – $10 for 4 days).  I SAW A TURTLE! Lots of fishies, very colourful.  But the turtle capped it off.  I had a little disposable underwater camera, so dunno if the pics of it will turn out.  Then back to the boat to moor for the night.  Didn’t get seasick (yet) so the drugs must be doing their jobs.  Dinner was good too.  Drinks on board are a bit exxy ($1.50 for a coke), but at least water is free.  7am start tomorrow, so an early night!

For the record – I took my DSLR into the shop when I got back to Australia.  There’s a problem with the sensor, so they’re going to fix it.  The guy at the shop said I should be able to fix all the photos by using the “clone” tool in Photoshop.  Will have a go at it next weekend when I’ve got some time to stuff around.

Day 20 – Galapagos (South Plaza Island and Santa Fe Island)
Up at 6.30 for breakfast at 7.  Breakfast on board was simple, but good (cereals, yoghurt, fruit, juice, bread, cheese – basically a standard continental breakfast).  7.30am we went off to have a walk around South Plaza Island (the boat left mooring at 5am to cruise there).  It had the most cutest Galapagos Sea Lions!  Wanted to smuggle one home in my bag so much!  There were also heaps of Galapagos land iguanas and a few of the Galapagos marine iguanas.  Wandered around there for a couple of hours.  Took heaps of photos.  I took a very small sample of basalt with me.  Dunno if I’ll get it out of the country or not though.  We’ll see.  Least it wasn’t a fossil, I left those alone.  Then back to the boat for the 3 hour cruise to Santa Fe Island.  Didn’t feel 100%, but at least I didn’t puke.  Stayed below deck on the inside lounge and slept.  Arrived at Santa Fe in time for lunch.  Then it was time for snorkelling.  There’s this small atoll/island that we went snorkelling around.  Sea lions, turtles, rays of various descriptions, sharkies (white tipped reefers) and lots and lots of pretty fish (I found Nemo!).  Was absolutely amazing.  Then later in the afternoon we went for a walk on Santa Fe Island.  So many sea lions!!!  The baby ones are adorable.  Also saw the Santa Fe land iguanas.  Then in the dinghy on the way back to the boat we saw some spotted eagle rays in the water.  So pretty!  Such an amazing day!  The boat sets off at midnight for the 6 hour trip to Espanola Island.  Hope I feel ok.  Gonna drug myself up before I go to bed.

Day 21 – Galapagos (Espanola Island)
I survived the overnight trip without too much pain.  I didn’t puke, but I really didn’t feel well either (despite having taken my drugs).  Oh well.  7am start today.  The dinghy took us to Espanola Island.  Went for a walk along the beach and saw several species of “Darwin finch” as well as more sea lions (still cute) and some marine iguanas (they were swimming!).  Then we went snorkelling for a bit.  2 of us really wanted to see sharks, so we swam out to this rocky atoll a couple of hundred meters offshore.  We probably weren’t meant to, but we saw 3 white tipped reef sharks, so it was worth it!  They were being lazy and hiding, but they were still pretty.  Then back to the boat to venture off to Gardner Islet for more snorkelling.  Got to see some sea stars and more fish and swim with the sea lions.  Even did a bit of cave diving.  Saw a turtle inside one of the caves.  Then back to the boat again for lunch and a 1 hour boat ride to Punto Suarez.  Had a short siesta till 2.30 and then we went ashore for a wander around the island.  Saw more sea lions, blue footed boobies (must buy a boobies shirt for my brother), nazca boobies, lots of iguanas/lizards, waved albatross, a really big blowhole on the rocky coast of the island…Lots of cool stuff!  Then back to the boat again.

Day 22 – Galapagos (Floreana Island)
Had another overnight cruise to Floreana Island this time.  Felt like crap and didn’t get much sleep.  At 7.30 we took the dinghy to Post Office Bay.  Went through the mail to see if there was anything there I could hand deliver, but no such luck.  Left a postcard there in case someone else passes through near my place in the future.  A short walk on and we reached the lava tubes.  Went for a walk through one of them.  Was dark (what a shocker!).  Then went back to the boat for the short trip to the Devil’s Crown.  From there we went ashore to the green beach (it has lotf of olivine in the sand – hence the green).  I was sifting through the sand to pick out some olivine to take home and got stung on my arm by a bloody wasp.  Didn’t even see the fucker!  All I had was this “Ow!  Fuck!  That hurts!” moment.  Karma maybe?  Anyway, from there we went walking to the flamingo lagoon which was cool, but they were all too far away to get any good photos (even with my tele lens).  Wandered around a bit more then went back to the boat to snorkel Devil’s Crown.  Our guide said we might see hammerheads here, but no such luck (the fact we didn’t see any on the entire cruise was the only disappointing thing about the entire trip).  Saw a bunch of reef sharks though.  Spent a couple of hours in the water there before getting back on the boat for the 5 hour trip to Puerto Ayora.  I got a bit sick on that trip but it wasn’t too bad.  Slept most of it off.  We arrived around 6 and got our briefing for tomorrow cos half of us are flying home (sadness).  We get to go to the Charles Darwin Research Station in the morning before our flight though.  Anyway, after dinner we ventured into town.  Got to check my emails (lots of work stuff) for $2.50 an hour.  Then ventured down to the markets.  Not much open but I bought a polo shirt ($7), stuffed turtle plushie ($5) and a nice wooden turtle carving ($20).  Plan to buy more at the research centre in the morning.  Ventured back to the boat by water taxi at about 10.30pm ($1 per person) to finish packing.  These carvings/statues are a major hassle to pack, so they’re coming with me as hand luggage.  Annoying, but such is life.  Bedtime now.  6.30am wakeup!

Day 23 – Galapagos (Santa Cruz Island – Quito)
I’m an idiot.  Seriously.  I set the alarm on my phone for 6am so that I could pack.  Only I forgot to change the bloody timezone from mainland time to Galapagos time, so it actually went off at 5!  Anyway, after that stupidity, I got up, packed, had breakfast, wrote my comments in the boat’s guest book (the captain watches you write it, so you can’t say anything bad) and sorted out a tip.  To be honest, I tipped way more than I thought they deserved.  The naturalist guide was average in every way (gave him $20 each) and the crew did nothing out of the ordinary (we chucked in $50 each which they will split between them – there’s 6 of them and 14 of us – that’s over $100 each).  I reckon they deserved about half that, but that’s how much we were “told” to tip.  Rip-off.  Anyway, we took the dinghy to Puerto Ayora (our bags were taken to the bus station for us to pick up later) and we got taxis (rofl@ white Hilux taxis) to the Charles Darwin Research Station.  A guide took us around there for 90 minutes or so.  Saw baby turtles/tortoises, Lonesome George, other giant tortoises and the shop.  Lonesome George is interesting.  He’s apparently the last of his breed, so it’s technically classified as extinct because he has no female of his own breed to mate with.  According to our guide though (she was a cynic if ever I’ve met one!), they really just keep him on display as a money making scheme “see him, he’s the last of his kind.  Give us money and maybe we can change that!“.  Which is crap, because even if they do get him to mate, any offspring would be cross-breeds.  Guess most people don’t think about the actual science stuff like that.  So then we went to the shop – expensive!  But the proceeds to towards conservation of the islands, so I’ll do my bit.  Bought a t-shirt ($10) and a book on the Galapagos ($38!).  Then we got taxis to the bus station where we picked up our bags and got the bus to the other side of the island (~1 hour), the 5 minute boat ride to Baltra Island and the 10 minute drive to the airport (in the back of some random guy’s pickup truck!).  Check-in was quick and easy.  There’s a few market stalls outside, I bought a wood hammer head for $25 (exxy, but I wanted it).  Just hope quarantine back in Australia aren’t complete asses about all the wood I bought.  Didn’t have an issue with the statues from Bali or Thailand in the past though, so we’ll see. Sitting on the plane to Quito right now (stopover in Guayaquil).  Will write more during my layover in Quito airport.  Arrive at 4.30 and don’t fly out till 9.20.

The Galapagos was awesome.  Much more awesome than I had anticipated.  I’d never really given visiting the islands much of a thought.  It was sort of “oh well, I’m going to Peru so I may as well go to the Galapagos while I’m there” type thing.  But I am so so glad I went.  It was amazing.  One of the most amazing experiences of my life.  And I would absolutely love to return at some point in the future (when I’ve got the money – it IS expensive to get there and travel there).  Anybody who has any kind of interest in evolution/biology/nature in general should really go.  It’s spectacular.  Amazing.  Words really can’t describe it.  Just go!

Great, I’m in Quito and I feel like crap.  Literally.  And have the bloody migraine from hell.  Joy.  Checked in 5 hours early and spent the first 2 hours pretty much stuck with my head over a toilet.  Got some food at the cafe ($10 for a sandwich and coke) and bought a pair or silver earrings with turtles on them ($18).  Then found a seat to crash on for a while.  Around 7.30 I ventured to my gate…I think my odd travel destinations just caught up with me.  I was selected for a full body and baggage search by security.  FUN! Not.  Thankfully not a cavity search, just a full frisk search.  Then they basically tore everything out of my nicely packed bag and the asswipe security took a  swiss army knife to it!  Right in front of me!  I couldn’t assess the damage, but if it’s bad I will have a tantrum.  It’s an expensive backpack!!!  Shock of all horrors, they didn’t find any drugs.  I’m a Dr (and my boarding pass says so!), do they think I’m that stupid?  Aarrggghhh!  What a fucked up afternoon.  This just gets better and better.  10 minutes before boarding “the plane has a mechanical problem, flight will be delayed 30 minutes“.  30 minutes later “flight still has a mehcanical problem but we’re going to fly you to Guayaquil anyway and change planes there“.  Good to see the exceptional safety standards at work on LAN.  Just hope I don’t miss my connecting flight with all these delays!

For the record – the security guy didn’t wreck my bag too badly.  He did however end up breaking my ceramic shaman statue I bought in Peru!  Even though it was wrapped up in bubble wrap.  I hate him.

And thus ends my awesome-tastic South American adventure.  I had another stopover on the way home.  Had to see family and friends.  And go shopping.  But I’m sure you don’t need to read about me buying shoes and handbags

Day 8 – Lima!
Long 12 hour flight from Madrid.  It seemed to go relatively quickly though.  Food was good, but it seemed like I was the only one on the plane who wasn’t fluent in Spanish!  I struggled with my basic tourist Spanish to communicate with the air hosties (I do know some Spanish, and my Italian is half-decent, so I can bastardize that if required).   Meh, I still got fed, so it’s not a big deal.  Arrived into Lima just before 6am.  And guess what?  I HAVE A CIA WATCH ON ME!!!!! ROFLMAO!  You can see the monitor the immigration guys use.  I can’t believe I have a CIA watch on me!  Classic!  Wonder why though?  Bags took ages to come out.  Had to go through customs cos I have 2 cameras (you’re theoretically only allowed to bring in one without paying customs).  They let me off without paying because my small point and shoot is old’ish and isn’t worth much on the open market.  So got out and went to meet my pre-booked arrival transfer to the hotel.  Who never showed up!  I waited an hour before giving up and catching  a taxi.  Cost me US$30.  A mega rip-off, but I got to the hotel (Hotel Maury) without being mugged or raped or shot or anything, so I guess I’m not going to bitch about that too much.  Then the bloody taxi driver wanted a tip on top of that!  I got scammed, but oh well.  I was tired and didn’t really care that much.  The hotel is nice.  I think I’m just going to crash now for a bit.  ZOMG!!!  Latino tv is just as bad as every stereotype out there!  ROFL!  The first thing that came on when I turned the tv on was some show with a guy in a bee outfit.  Remember that dude off The Simpsons?  ROFL x 100.  Changed the channel and the Spanish version of The Chicken Dance!!!!!! came on.  ROFL x 1000.  Totally classic.  Anyway, slept most of the day away.  Dunno what I’ll do tomorrow yet.  Oh, one thing I need to mention – the ATM’s here only give out a limited amout of cash in each transaction, regardless of the high withdrawal limit you might have on your card.  The ATM I used at the airport had a withdrawal limit of 400 S/. and also charged a 7.50S/. ATM fee for each transaction (ignoring what my bank at home is charging me in international transaction fees on top of that).  It’s gonna add up real quick if I have to make multiple transactions to get any decent amount of local currency out.  I have some USD, but I’m trying not to spend that unless absolutely necessary.  Ugh.  I think my body is purging all the crap fried food I ate in the last week.  All I’ve had since I got here is a bottle of Inca Kola (which is like bright yellow creaming soda in case you care), no food yet, so I refuse to believe I’m getting sick.

Day 9 – Adventuring in Lima
So technically the first day of my tour (I had to get on a tour to get my Inca Trail permit).  Met up with most of the group.  Basically half Aussies and half Canadians.  Everyone seems to be a bit older, so no young pissheads to ruin it!  My roomie for the trip is a 30-something Canadian from Winnipeg.  She’s excitable!  But funny.  We decided to spend the day going up to San Christobal ( the hill with the awesome city views) and going out to Miraflores.  Both were fun.  Had lunch in Miraflores (40 S/.) and tried the ceviche.  Was nicer than I was expecting.  I’d eat it again, maybe I’ll even google the recipe online when I get home.  Ventured back to the hotel around 6 after a quick stop at the supermarket (so cheap!!!).  Went to the hotel bar and had a pisco sour.  This was apparently the bar where they were created at, so had to try one (9 S/.).  Basically went back to the room and crashed after that.  Have a 5am wakeup call in the morning to get the flight to Cuzco.  Bloody workmen are jackhammering out in the street, been at it since midnight.  Got no sleep.  It sounded like gunfire, but turns out it wasn’t.  Dooooom.  Tired.

Day 10 – Conquering Cuzco
So up at 5am to leave at 6am to go to the airport for the flight to Cuzco.  The driver took a short-cut only to realize that there was roadworks going on and the short-cut was completely blocked and not so short.  So we got a scenic detour through the ghettos!  Anyway, at least we got to the airport eventually and checked in easily enough.  Went and paid our departure tax (~US$6.50 on the day).  We got there pretty late so went straight to the departure gate for our 7.40am flight (on LAN).  WHICH GOT CANCELLED! First they said “15 minutes late“, which it was, we saw it land.  But for some reason they randomly cancelled it.  So our tour director organised for us to get on the next flight, but the group got split in 2.  Me, my roomie and the tour director ended up on the slightly later 8.40am flight.  But when we went to board it with our reissued boarding passes, they said we were meant to have been on the 8.20am flight with the rest of our group – they didn’t want to let us on!  LAN fucked up and they let us on about 30 seconds before departing.  The scenery from the flight was amazing.  Landing was smooth and our bags arrived despite the flight chaos.  Got outside to an immediate reminder of Egypt.  “Want to buy *insert item here*?“.  Only here it’s in Spanish.  Made it to the hotel La Posada led Pardo (I think?!?!).  It seems nice enough.  Though there’s no bath, only a shower.  And no hair dryer.  So we had an hour or so before lunch, so me and one of the other ladies went for a walk up to the Plaza del Aramas and to the old stone alleyway along Hatun Runiyoc (sp?).  Spectacular.  Took lots of photos and came across the first of the kids and old ladies with the baby lambs wanting us to take photos of them ( for a price of course!).  They are cute, but no.  I’m in no way going to support a kid ditching their education for what effectively amounts to begging on the street.  There is government education available to these kids.  Anyway, went back to the hotel and met up with everyone else and then walked all the way back up to the Plaza again for lunch.  We got the set menu in a cafe type place for 9 S/. each!  So much food.  Yum!  They had cuy on the menu, but the tour director said to wait till after the trek when we can go to a traditional restaurant and eat it there.  Hahaha, should be hilarious!  At any rate, we got given tickets fot the Basilica Cathedral and Qorikancha.  The cathedral was totally ostentacious and overkill with the bling, but Qorikancha was really beautiful.  Anyhow, had a nap after that before our “trek meeting” to discuss all the details.  We just went to the minimart and got snacks for dinner.  Then sleepytime!  I’ve not suffered any sign of altitude sickeness yet.  A good sign!

Day 11 – Sacred Valley Wanderings
Today we hired a minivan and a guide and went on a walkabout.  We’d planned to skip buying the boleto touristico ticket (~130 S/. each) and just buy the 40 S/. individual entry ticket at the 2 sites we needed them for.  But turns out the government changed a bunch of rules a week ago and foreingers are no longer eligible to buy the cheaper individual entry tickets and are forced to buy the 130 S/. touristico ticket.  That almost caused a riot.  So first we got to Saqsaywaman (pronounced a bit like sexy woman).  Wandered round there for a while and got the history of the place from our guide.  The stones are about 99% limestone and you can see some small marine fossils in some of them.  Was really pretty.  Then we moved on to a random stop at an animal rescue shelter and some some rescued llama, macaw and a couple of puma which had been rescued from a nightclub (of all places!).  We gave a donation and then ventured forth to the llama farm!  Lots of different types of llama, alpaca and vicuna.  The guy there explained the differences and how their fibre varies (as with price).  There was a small shop at the end selling their wares.  A bit exxy, but I bought a small llama plushie (stuffed toy) made from baby llama wall for 89 S/.   It’s cute and soft.  After that we drove on to Pisac.  We got cheap empanadas from a street cafe (and for future reference, I’m 99.99% certain this is what caused me to get sick) for 2 S/. each.  Then we had 45 minutes to wander the markets.  Not nearly enough time.  Started my shopping though.  Baby alpaca (more like maybe alpaca) sweater and an Inca Kola t-shirt for 60 S/., 2′ x 3′ wall hanging for 70 S/., 20cm x 30cm wall hanging for 10 S/. and a nice patterened (cotton weave) shoulder bag for 20 S/.  Also got a silver Tumi pendant for 30 S/.  Did ok with the bargaining I guess.  Then got back on the bus for the 1 hour drive to Ollytatambo.  DOOM HIT! Got about half way up the steps and my stomach decided to cramp up and do somersaults.  I got up near the top and it was unbearable so I had to go back down and find a toilet.  Not what I need the day before doing the 4 day Inca Trail!  The site was spectacular though.  Oh well.  Was late afternoon by then so it was time for the 2 hour drive back to Cuzco.  Had Chinese from a Chiffa place for dinner.  Stomach is still killing me.  Can’t believe I got funny tummy now.  Shit timing (literally and figuratively).  Packed for the trail and hired a sleeping bag for 35 S/. and a walking stick (20 S/. each – I only got one) for the 4 days.  So tired.  So sore.  Hope I get a good night’s sleep!  Up at 4.30am tomorrow

Day 12 – Inca Trail Day 1 (Doom)
So was up all night puking my guts up and other associated bodily functions you get with gastro.  Not pleasant.  Had to wake up at 5am to get the bus to drive us to km82 to start the trek.  The bus was late, so when we got to km82 for passport control, the line was huge.  To actually get on the trail you need to have your original passport that you booked the trail permit with (ie. no photocopies or new passports) otherwise they won’t let you on.  I felt like crap just waiting for passport control.  It went downhill (not literally) from there.  I really seriously struggled.  I’m fit.  I run every day and I work at altitude.  But being sick like this just threw me.  I honestly just wanted to curl up into a ball and die.  No joke.  About an hour and a half before making final camp for the day I ended up puking my guts up pretty badly.  The official guide cam back and carried my daypack to the campsite for me cos I was so weak.  I made it to camp around 6pm about 30-45 minutes after the main group.  But I made it.  Now all I want to do is sleep.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel better?  Not holding my breath

Just as an aside – the car crash!  On the way to Ollytatambo in the morning, some guy had his car (taxi) parked on a hill…But apparently didn’t have his handbrake on, because it suddenly came rolling down the hill and sideswiped our minibus!  Seriously.  Took out all the side mirrors and stuff on the bus, but the taxi lost a door!  The panel beaters will have a field day with that one.  Silly twit not using the handbrake

Day 13 – Inca Trail Day 2 (Doom^∞)
The day from hell.  Not only did I get no sleep last night due to still being sick, but today is without question considered the hardest day of the 4 day Inca Trail trek.  I started out ok (uphill) but got worse as the day wore on.  The last 20 steps just before the summit of Dead Woman’s Pass nearly killed me.  I swear (literally at the time!) that I almost passed out.  Shortly after that we went downhill and had lunch.  I figured I’d buy a bottle of Gatorade (8 S/.) which is almost twice the price of Cuzco, but such is life (you’re paying for the convenience up here).  Then we ventured forth to the second pass.  I made it.  Barely.  It’s interesting that the majority of my group found the 2nd pass harder.  I thought the first was far far worse.  Anyway, we made it to camp around 5.30pm.  I am so sore.  My stomach seems to have settled a bit.  But the constant up and down today was hard on the muscles and joints.  Had a really light dinner (still have no appetite) and crashed straight away.  6.20am start tomorrow, but apparently it’s almost all downhill.  My head is now starting to block up.  Just what I need.

Day 14 – Inca Trail Day 3 (Improving!)
So it was almost all downhill literally today.  My head has blocked up like I thought, but my stomach seems to be ok now (touch wood).  So after our 5.30am wakeup call we got moving.  After all the rain from yesterday thought it was slippery as hell.  When we were going through one of the tunnels yesterday, I slipped on a wet rock because today my groin hurts like hell.  Made walking hurt.  A lot.  Especially combined with the regular muscle pain you’d expect from the hell that is Dead Woman’s Pass yesterday.  I did alright today though.  We stopped at a couple of ruins along the say and in the afternoon (we got to the camp for the night at lunch!) we visited Winyawanya.  The ruins there are amazing.  Stayed there for a while and then went back to camp.  The camp on night 3 has real toilets (a bit rank though) and showers (costs 5 S/. for a shower and 5 S/. if you need to hire a towel) but we all decided to forego that because we only had dirty clothes to get back into after the shower anyway.  Had a drink at the bar there (exxy though at 8 S/. for a coke).  Then went and had our last camp dinner and said goodbye to the porters.  They were awesome and really deserved the tip they got from the tipping kitty (IIRC, we each put in 115 S/.).  But 4am wakeup tomorrow to make the final trek to MACHU PICCHU!  YAY!

Day 15 – Inca Trail Day 4 (It was worth the pain)
So after the 4am wakeup call we had our last camp breakfast.  The reason for being up so early apparently has something to do with the porters working hours.  We didn’t actually leave camp till 5.30am.  But before we left a few of us went to use the proper toilets in the restaurant/bar.  But nasty on a whole new level.  They’d stopped flushing at some point and were literally overflowing with shit.  It’s enough to make anyone hurl.  Anyway, I’ll spare the details.  We made good time to the Sun Gate (1 hour 15 mins from camp).  Was downhill most of the way and seemed awesome.  Until you hit the stairs of doom (TM: me!) at the bottom of the Sun Gate.  We were there for sunrise, but it was pretty foggy/cloudy so we only had a partially unobstructed view of Machu Picchu from there.  Was then another 40 minutes mostly downhill to get from the Sun Gate to Machu Picchu.  Machu Picchu is just as amazing as it looks in the books and on tv.  Better even.  At the top we stopped for a bit to get the money shots of Machu Picchu and  Wanya Picchu and stuff.  Hope they turn out ok.  We then went down to near the bus stop to dump some gear (you can’t take the hiking sticks inside).  There’s a small cafe there, but very exxy (13 S/. for a coke as opposed to the usual 3 S/. you pay normally).  You can also leave your big back or something there for 3 S/.

Now as for the camera issues that had been ranted about online…I had my DSLR with an 18-55 and a 75-300mm lens on me.  They never even looked inside my camera bag or my day pack.  Let alone question me over any of it.  That guy online was either full of shit or he did something stupid to piss off the security guards.  I saw people walking in with HUGE lenses on their DSLR with no problems.  You have to pass security (show your passport) to get into the site and I spose they could randomly back check, but it’s insanely busy there and they probably wouldn’t bother unless you’re being a complete wanker.

Anyway, out trek guides then gave us a 2 hour tour of the site.  There’s little baby llamas in there!!!  So cute!  Got heaps of photos.  We didn’t have to meet back in Aguas Calientes until 4pm (train left at 5), but some of us were really tired so got the bus down around 1 to grab some lunch and wander the markets.  Had lunch at some pizza place (30 S/. for a medium pizza, exxy, but it was good).  It’s really axxy in Aguas Calientes but you are paying to the location/convenience.  The markets there were nice and I picked up a small framed (brass?) Inca warrior thing for 20 S/.  In the end we all met up and got the 5pm train to Poroy.  It was meant to get in at 9 but we arrived at 8.15 which was good.  Almost a case of deja vu though when they stuffed up the tickets for the same 3 of us who nearly missed the LAN flight from Lima!  They’d given us seats in a carriage that didn’t exist!  Got back to the hotel around 9 and checked email (work sucks sometimes – I’m on holidays, deal with it!).  Then had my first shower in 4 days!  So good!  And sleeeeeeeeep…

My Inca Trail wrap-up
Despite being sick for more than half the trek, I’m really glad I did it and am proud of myself for succeeding.  Yes, on the first day I admit I thought I wouldn’t make it.  But I persevered.  This had to be the most challenging thing I’ve done to date (and that includes grad school!), because you don’t know what to expect.  I’m fit and healthy and work at altitude, but I got hit with a random stomach bug.  Seriously though, you do need to have a reasonably high level of fitness to do it.  Do some 10km+ day hikes on the weekends for training or spend 2-3 a day on a stairmaster!  And don’t poo-poo the walking sticks!  I almost did, but am so glad I had them, especially downhill in the rain.  Also, be prepared for really nasty suqat toilets and no shower for almost 4 days.  We heard some idiots complaining about it.  You’re at 4000m altitude in the mountains ffs!  What did they expect?  The Hilton? Be nice to the porters, they make life tolerable if not quite pleasant on the rail!  That’s another thing, even though I booked the Peru trip through a tour group company, they contract the trekking bit out to a local mob called “Highland Peru“.  They ere really well organised, the trek leaders were great and knowledgable, the porters were friendly and seemed well looked after (the company made sure to enforce regulations).  Yet another thing, you do need thermals.  The second night is cold as hell.  What else?  If I think of anything more, I’ll edit the blog entry.

Day 16 – Cuy in Cuzco
A relative sleep-in today.  Didn’t get up till about 9.  Muscles are still a bit sore, but meh.  It’s over and I survived and Machu Picchu was awesome.  So we made plans at breakfast to meetup at lunch to go to a place that does traditional Peruvian food.  A bunch of us really wanted to try the cuy (guinea pig).  But until then I wandered up to the local markets in San Pedro Square.  The smells from all the juice places was sooooo good.  Not much tourist stuff there though.  Stayed there about an hour before I decided to go for a wander around the shops in the main square.  I bought an “I survived the Inca Trail” t-shirt (10 S/.) and a small copper plate with a llama on it for my parents (also 10 S/.).  They’ll probably use it as an ashtray though knowing them.  Then went off to the restaurant to eat rodent!  The photos of my proof of eating are on Facebook.  It tasted a bit like a cross between chicken and duck.  It is really greasy though and made me feel a bit queasy afterwards.  The cuy cost 48 S/., so a bit exxy but it was something I had to try anyway.  One of the others bought some alpaca steaks and antichuko (cow heart).  I tried the alpaca steak.  Tasted a bit like lamb, but a bit saltier.  After that I came back to the hotel for a nap.  Met up at 5 to discuss flights and stuff for tomorrow.  We also decided to go to the music/dance show on the boleto touristico ticket that we bought for our Sacred Valley wanderings last week.  It was alright I guess.  Then after that we decided to go out drinking and dancing at some salsa club.  8am wakeup in the morning, so won’t be a big night.

Day 17 – Back in Lima
Ugh.  I drank too much last night.  Started out drinking Argentine red wine, then had a vodka and then started on Long Island Iced Teas (seems to be a trend when I’m on holidays – bad memories of New Years in Egypt!).  I remember getting in the taxi at the nightclub, but don’t recall getting out or paying the guy.  I probably massively overpaid him.  Anyway, made our goodbyes at breakfast as half the group is off to Puno today while the rest of us head back to Lima.  Was a great group of people.  Made it to the airport for the 10.30am LAN flight (tax ~US$4.25 on the day) but it was a bit late.  Got to Lima 40 mins hate and then the airbridge wouldn’t work so we got stuck waiting on the plane for another 45 minutes on the tarmac while they organised stairs and buses to get us to the terminal.  Had a transfer to the hotel and crashed for a bit.  Not feeling 100% so spent the rest of the day in bed watching tv.  Can get a bunch of US channels, so been watching CSI, Law and Order, Grey’s Anatomy etc.  A good relaxing day.  Have to be up at 7.30-8am tomorrow for my 9.15am transfer to the airport for my flight to Quito.  Peru’s been totally awesome.  Definitely going to be back again in the future!

Up next – Ecuador (or more accurately – The Galapagos Islands!!!)